“How Well Am I Doing as My Daughter’s Father?”

Here is a short Dads and Daughters self-assessment quiz. It’s a quick way to understand how well you’re doing as your daughter’s father. Answer honestly and add up your score before peeking at the scoring key. If your daughter isn’t school-aged, skip the 5 school-related items and subtract 15 points from the scoring key.

THE DAD-Q TEST:

1 I can name her 3 best friends
1
2
3
2 I know my daughter’s goals
1
2
3
3 I comment on my wife/partner’s weight
3
2
1
4 I’m physically active with my daughter (shoot hoops, jog, etc.)
1
2
3
5 I make dinner for my family
1
2
3
6 I talk to my daughter about managing money
1
2
3
7 I spend 1/2 hour, 1-on-1with her, doing something we both enjoy.
1
2
3
8 I talk to other fathers about raising kids
1
2
3
9 I talk to other fathers about raising daughters
1
2
3
10 I restrict her activities more than I do/ would for a son
3
2
1
11 I talk to my daughter about advertising
1
2
3
12 I tell my daughter what her strengths are
1
2
3
13 I comment on my daughter’s weight
3
2
1
14 I know what school project she’s working on
1
2
3
15 I protest negative media portrayals of girls
1
2
3
16 I view pornographic material
3
2
1
17 I participate in parenting organizations
1
2
3
18 I yell at my daughter’s mother
3
2
1
19 I suggest that my daughter go on a diet
3
2
1
20 I object when others suggest that she go on a diet
1
2
3
21 I converse with my daughter, and she does most of the talking
1
2
3
22 I know what my daughter is concerned about today
1
2
3
23 I know how many student government officers at her school are girls
1
2
3
24 I have read her school’s sexual harassment policy
1
2
3
25 I help boys learn to respect girls
1
2
3
26 I tell my daughter stories about my own youth
1
2
3
 

For dads who live AWAY from their daughters   

27 I initiate contact with her at least 5 times a week
1
2
3
28 I ask how she feels transitioning to and from my home
1
2
3
29 I demonstrate respect for her mother and stepparent(s)
1
2
3
30 I fulfill my visitation and support commitments
1
2
3
 

For dads who live WITH their daughters
(extra credit for live-away dads)

27 I volunteer to help with her extracurricular activities
1
2
3
28 I take my daughter to school
1
2
3
29 I visit my daughter’s school during the school day
1
2
3
30 I take my daughter to work with me
1
2
3

Scoring:

Total Points  

If you scored:

30-35: Your relationship with your daughter looks like it’s on very solid ground

36-45: You appear to have a good foundation, but there are places to improve

46-60: You probably need active steps to re-examine your attitudes and learn ways to build deeper respect for each other.

61-90: It’s time to consider serious change. Your actions and attitudes may be undermining your daughter.

 

source: dadsanddaughters.org

Published by

Dr. Gnap

Dr. Gnap is a family practice physician and behavioral medicine specialist in suburban Chicago.  Dr. Gnap developed the Inner Control™ Program in 1970 and has worked with thousands of people to improve and correct medical, emotional, behavioral and learning problems including performance.  He started the Inner Control program because so many patients asked, “what more can be done along with traditional treatment methods?”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *